because fate is a wicked tease

I ran into Sol tonight.


My heart skipped a thousand beats


and then I had to remind myself to breathe.


All I wanted to do was look at him.

Not stare.

Not leer.

Just look at him.

Look in to him.


So deeply that he would feel the race of my heart beat

and look up

and our eyes would meet.


And I would just know.


Our eyes did meet.


I saw him steal a glance.


And then another.


And then he was gone.


I walked home, arm in arm with Johnson, and we talked about how we always expected that one day everything would finally settle. But that in reality turmoil will always be around and within us, but that doesn't mean we aren't at peace or content. And Johnson said something that hit me in my now weakened heart: that our reality never becomes our fantasies.


And I guess I just thought he would be there when I got home.