because ivan. and. alyosha.

Trying to find some peace in this hectic week.

Realizing that those moments might not happen, but I can still feel calm while working through it all.

Desperately grateful for the background noise.

"Does your woman take your dreams,
Shine it up and give it some wings?
You have found a beautiful thing,
a beautiful thing.

...

And there's a bridge
That we're crossing.
There is a life we should be living;
Everything is burning.

Did she get inside your head,
All the stupid things that you've said?
She's the only reason reason you get out of bed.

...

She brings me back among the living.
And I guess I am learning,
Everything is burning."

music on a monday pt 7

Tryin' to fit your hand inside of mine

When we know it just don't belong

Why don't you be you and I'll be me

his site

music on a monday pt 6

I'll take the mess you are
And you'll take the mess that is me
And together we will live in beautiful chaos.

Vance Joy

music on a monday 5

"I will remember your face, 'cause I am still in love with that place"

music monday on a wednesday

Because I forgot.

Because it's catchy and fun, and for a girl with hips I do so love the message.

as long as you're mine

I finally had the chance to go see the Off-Broadway production of Wicked in Salt Lake last night.

I went alone.

Hitched an early train up, spent a couple hours doing some school shopping and eating, and then headed over to Capitol Theater.

It was as wonderful as I had expected, with a few twists on a plot I thought I knew so well from so often listening to the soundtrack.

Seeing the characters perform the songs also brought me a new perspective on those words that I could almost perfectly sing a long to.

Most importantly was the relationship between Elphaba and Fiyero. I mistakenly had believed it was always a moment of unrequited love, and that in the song As Long As You're Mine Elphaba had cast some spell on him. I never got to see his transformation, his love for her, that began from the start.

So as I sat watching them kneel there together singing about a love they knew couldn't work ("say there's no future for us as a pair, and though I may know, I don't care"), but it didn't matter because in that moment they had each other.

And suddenly I realized how very brainless I can be in relationships. How very brainless everyone can be.

Because even if there's the smallest chance that our tiny or momentous relationships might work out - the relationships with that the boy from the coffee shop, the best friend you've always known, the one who came back - if there's a sliver somewhere, or if there isn't, we should enjoy it.

Enjoy every tiny and big moment. It doesn't matter if it might end in a week, or three months, or three years, because in that moment you are his and he is yours.

I do such a good job at spending more of those precious moments wondering and worrying and sometimes even being immensely frustrated because things aren't going how I thought they would.

But wouldn't it be so much more magical to be in awe that he is there with you? That your "wildest dreaming" could never have imagined lying there with someone who cares about you?

And when you're lucky enough to meet the one who chooses to stay you can make up for all that "lost time" when you were both floundering around in the swamp of single-hood.

Yes, this is a sappy post, a call to action, a call to enjoy the little things.

And I apologize.

So maybe don't think of it that way.

Maybe just be grateful that you're lucky to have the chance to have someone. That you're lucky to love and be loved.

That somewhere there is a place (whether here and now or in the future) where someone who knows your name loves you and cares for you.

And in that place you will be holding each other.

As long as you're mine.

Image via katenikolas.tumblr.com

music on a monday 4

this.

music on a monday 3

Givers...in a kitchen you guys.

But really, this is kind of cool.

Go look up their music on Spotify too, the recorded version is just as good.

their webpage

music on a monday 2

Such wonderful imagination.

and then this ethereal deliciousness.

music on a monday

I love words.

The way they escape your mouth.

How some taste exactly how they mean.

And how music can express them in such ways that pierces your soul and lights your heart on fire.

Delicate.

cheap goodbyes

I might begin a Music Monday thing or something (yes today is Tuesday, but maybe I'll start it next week).

Nicole showed me this song after we spent most of the weekend together fidgeting over life and love.

can't stop. won't stop.

I really did not like this song when I first heard it. In fact I can probably replicate the face I made at Kali when she tried to make me listen to it in the car on the ride home from climbing.

But here I am, slouched splendidly in my chair at work and I've listened to it 28 times (I might be on the 29th currently as I type this).

That's almost an entire hour and a half straight of the same ridiculousness. And don't worry that it's not on Spotify, so I haven't had it just on repeat. I actually had to go in to YouTube every time and click "replay" 28 (make that 30) times.

Ignore the earrings! If I stare at them too long I start to ponder on my own credibility.

a sneak peek at last weekend's adventures and the current music obsession

Haven't flown in THREE YEARS!!! So I figured I'd provide an airport photo with my sweet new rucksack and leopard shoes.

(I really can't wait to tell you about last weekend)

Also this fabulous song that I'm currently crushing on:

Little Bribes by Death Cab for Cutie

d-d-d-

Dashboard. I woke up with stinking Dashboard Confessional stuck in my head as if high school was trying to sneak quietly back into my life and remind me of all the awkwardness that once was.

I was surprised at how well I still remembered all the words, and I'm starting to wonder if it's a sign because the specific line "And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you, 'cause they would never do, I would never do" was the first thing to be screamed into my head as it popped off the pillow.

Maybe looking for signs isn't all it's cracked up to be, though.

(Or maybe I only like looking for them when they go the way I want them to, or lead me to what I really want. Not necessarily what I need).

Or maybe it was just a weird coincidence that the first song to seep into my foggy brain this morning was about writing letters because I spent a fair amount of time writing a couple letters yesterday.

(I should probably look more into this whole sign-searching business).

Either way thank you Dashboard, you have sprung upon me the youth of yester-years.

because this is the best album

I would disagree, but as I have been informed several times Emotionalism is in fact the real, best album of The Avett Brothers. It is not without its merits, I will not deny (though my heart leans more toward I And Love And You).

The song titles are delicious enough that I have found great pleasure in just reading through them.

They make me want to write a story. One about two people on opposite sides of the world who love each other without even knowing one another.

I haven't decided if they will ever meet yet...

happiness

Entitled Happiness. Because he said it was what he was feeling in that moment. And it was perfect.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Happiness/4D6LaS?src=5

please let me scorn you for treating me right

We went to a concert - Bombay Bicycle Club - a couple weeks ago. I hadn't planned on it. In fact, Sol was just suppose to check to see if there were extra tickets. He checked, and then bought me one.

Liz Lawrence was the opener. Sol joked that he wouldn't be surprised if she became my new favorite but I didn't want him to be right. It was cliche. Half way through her performance, with my jaw dropped, I turned to Sol and told him she was my new crush. He was right.

A couple days later we were driving home and I pulled Sol's phone from his hand to choose something to listen to and I found Liz's album. He told me that he had bought it for me. He knew that at some point we would be driving home and I would want to listen to my new favorite singer. He bought it for me.

There is no other way that I could possibly describe how I feel for him, except this song.

So, please let me love you black and blue.

her site